Showing posts with label homebirth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homebirth. Show all posts
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Home sweet home
I have been telling you about my desire and the desire of Sophie & Pépe to give birth to their baby outside of a hospital I want to share this list I found on line with you (it is not *my* list) - - but let me paraphrase this by saying I know homebirth isn't for everyone and that is okay.
35 Reasons to Give Birth at Home (in no particular order):
1. Home birth is safer - Your house is a lot less likely to be a source of antibiotic-resistant bacteria, and it’s not full of sick people.
2. Your chances are getting a C-section are reduced with a home birth.
3. It’s cheaper - A midwife’s fee is much less costly than a hospital stay.
4. You don’t have to go anywhere.
5. The food is way better at home. Organic food? Vegan? No problem.
6. You don’t have to have strangers at your birth (unless you want to).
7. Your home is always more comfortable than any hospital room.
8. Everything you need is there.
9. You can be as green as you want. Hospitals aren’t known for natural soaps, cleaners, or recycled-content anything.
10. You control the environment at home. If you want to dim all the lights or open a window, you just do it.
11. Birth is a sacred experience. What better setting could there be?
12. It’s so much quieter at home. There are no cabinets full of blinky lights, fans, and humming devices. Well, maybe some of you have that… But probably not in your bedroom. And you can power them down if you want.
13. Home birth is just more fun!
14. Your older kids can be a part of the birth.
15. Your pets can attend. Seriously. Pets are family, too.
16. Giving birth at home is an exceptionally empowering experience. We can take back birth from The Man.
17. No silly hospital gown is necessary at home. Wear whatever you want, or wear nothing.
18. You don’t need an ID bracelet for the mother or the baby when you birth at home.
19. You can choose the room for your birth, or change rooms in the middle. Not an option at the hospital.
20. Giving birth outside is an option with a home birth. Our first home birth was in our front yard, in a birthing tub, and our second in a tipi in our yard. It’s probably not an possibility for most city dwellers, but our second home birth was just on the other side of the fence from a public school (and recess ended just as active labor came on…)
21. No paperwork is necessary at your home birth.
22. You can cut the umbilical cord when you are good and ready. The speed at which they want to snip our newborn’s lifeline is unbelievable.
23. No gadgetry on the mother: A home birth midwife doesn’t require you to wear a monitor or get an IV started “just in case”.
24. You don’t have to sign out when you leave your house.
25. Your family doesn’t have to negotiate a giant parking lot and endless hallways to visit you.
26. A heating pad does not cost $50 to use.
27. You can have as much sage, incense, candles, whatever, as you like.
28. There is no pressure to circumcise, vaccinate, or apply for a Social Security number for your baby right after a home birth.
29. You don’t end up with a “gift bag” (marketing samples) from big corporate America, full of disposable diapers, formula, baby wipes, shampoo, soaps, and brand propaganda.
30. Your baby’s placenta does not become a biohazard. We left our placenta at the hospital, but we planned to bury it, so I drove back, all bleary-eyed, and asked for it. They weren’t going to give it to me, even though we had our name on it in the fridge (just like lunch…) We had to call the OB and have her sign off on the release, and then I had to sign about four different forms, and then they finally gave it to me in a bag with “Biohazard” all over it. Sheesh.
31. The dad has a bed at home. Sleeping on a foldout cot next to the hospital bed sucks.
32. Nobody comes in, wakes you up, and checks your vitals every half hour at home.
33. You can stream the live video of the birth to all your friends (Pay-per-view home births?) OK, I’m kidding.
34. Having a home birth is different. Different is cool.
35. The hospital is open 24 hours, so if you need it, it will be there.
I know that it isn’t for everyone, but if you feel at all drawn to home birth, I say, “Go for it - it’s not as mysterious as it sounds.” It’s the way women have always given birth. Only recently has birth become the domain of the doctor and hospital, the insurance company and the pharmacy and in our case - the agency.
One of the things that keeps coming back to me about what a wonderful experience homebirth can be in our situation is that Sophie would have the opportunity to be right there to help catch her baby, remove her shirt and start the skin to skin bonding contact that all babies crave. The adrenaline/hormones will be going full force as they watch their baby be born - what an incredible sacred time this could be for a woman to take over as the mother in all sense of the word!
35 Reasons to Give Birth at Home (in no particular order):
1. Home birth is safer - Your house is a lot less likely to be a source of antibiotic-resistant bacteria, and it’s not full of sick people.
2. Your chances are getting a C-section are reduced with a home birth.
3. It’s cheaper - A midwife’s fee is much less costly than a hospital stay.
4. You don’t have to go anywhere.
5. The food is way better at home. Organic food? Vegan? No problem.
6. You don’t have to have strangers at your birth (unless you want to).
7. Your home is always more comfortable than any hospital room.
8. Everything you need is there.
9. You can be as green as you want. Hospitals aren’t known for natural soaps, cleaners, or recycled-content anything.
10. You control the environment at home. If you want to dim all the lights or open a window, you just do it.
11. Birth is a sacred experience. What better setting could there be?
12. It’s so much quieter at home. There are no cabinets full of blinky lights, fans, and humming devices. Well, maybe some of you have that… But probably not in your bedroom. And you can power them down if you want.
13. Home birth is just more fun!
14. Your older kids can be a part of the birth.
15. Your pets can attend. Seriously. Pets are family, too.
16. Giving birth at home is an exceptionally empowering experience. We can take back birth from The Man.
17. No silly hospital gown is necessary at home. Wear whatever you want, or wear nothing.
18. You don’t need an ID bracelet for the mother or the baby when you birth at home.
19. You can choose the room for your birth, or change rooms in the middle. Not an option at the hospital.
20. Giving birth outside is an option with a home birth. Our first home birth was in our front yard, in a birthing tub, and our second in a tipi in our yard. It’s probably not an possibility for most city dwellers, but our second home birth was just on the other side of the fence from a public school (and recess ended just as active labor came on…)
21. No paperwork is necessary at your home birth.
22. You can cut the umbilical cord when you are good and ready. The speed at which they want to snip our newborn’s lifeline is unbelievable.
23. No gadgetry on the mother: A home birth midwife doesn’t require you to wear a monitor or get an IV started “just in case”.
24. You don’t have to sign out when you leave your house.
25. Your family doesn’t have to negotiate a giant parking lot and endless hallways to visit you.
26. A heating pad does not cost $50 to use.
27. You can have as much sage, incense, candles, whatever, as you like.
28. There is no pressure to circumcise, vaccinate, or apply for a Social Security number for your baby right after a home birth.
29. You don’t end up with a “gift bag” (marketing samples) from big corporate America, full of disposable diapers, formula, baby wipes, shampoo, soaps, and brand propaganda.
30. Your baby’s placenta does not become a biohazard. We left our placenta at the hospital, but we planned to bury it, so I drove back, all bleary-eyed, and asked for it. They weren’t going to give it to me, even though we had our name on it in the fridge (just like lunch…) We had to call the OB and have her sign off on the release, and then I had to sign about four different forms, and then they finally gave it to me in a bag with “Biohazard” all over it. Sheesh.
31. The dad has a bed at home. Sleeping on a foldout cot next to the hospital bed sucks.
32. Nobody comes in, wakes you up, and checks your vitals every half hour at home.
33. You can stream the live video of the birth to all your friends (Pay-per-view home births?) OK, I’m kidding.
34. Having a home birth is different. Different is cool.
35. The hospital is open 24 hours, so if you need it, it will be there.
I know that it isn’t for everyone, but if you feel at all drawn to home birth, I say, “Go for it - it’s not as mysterious as it sounds.” It’s the way women have always given birth. Only recently has birth become the domain of the doctor and hospital, the insurance company and the pharmacy and in our case - the agency.
One of the things that keeps coming back to me about what a wonderful experience homebirth can be in our situation is that Sophie would have the opportunity to be right there to help catch her baby, remove her shirt and start the skin to skin bonding contact that all babies crave. The adrenaline/hormones will be going full force as they watch their baby be born - what an incredible sacred time this could be for a woman to take over as the mother in all sense of the word!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Behind the scenes
Behind the scenes Sophie, Pépe and I have been working on a few important details of our journey. I got our first draft of our contract on Friday and I went over it many times this past weekend crossing, questioning, adding and deleting. Since I have been down this road before and I have an idea of what needs to be done and what I am looking for. Some things are pretty basic/standard others are a little more unique to our situation.
So many of the things that go into a contract are 'just in case'. For example you never expect to have a hysterectomy but if I did it is written into my contract. How far from home I am allowed to travel after 24 weeks - it was set at 50 miles, which if you know where I live is a little ridiculous! When you print off the document it is a little daunting how long and detailed it is....
We all want to make sure that we are covered. The parents don't want to be financially drained but they want to make sure that all the basis are covered. I don't think that financially my family should be negatively affected and I don't want to inadvertently have a breach of contract so we are all just covering our bases.
I have talked to S&P about all the modifications that I am looking at making so that we keep an open dialog between all parties. Then I talk to my lawyer, he changes it and then sends it off again.
Now for the EXCITING part!!! I mentioned earlier that we were on the same page regarding not vaccinating but it has gone one step further........ they would like me to use a midwife for delivery and have given their blessing to have a homebirth!!!! I am so, so excited!
I am excited for me because while I had geared myself up for having another hospital birth I *loved* giving birth at home. I am also excited for S&P because I really believe that by having a homebirth they will be able to be much more involved in the birth and afterbirth then they would be allowed to in a hospital. I can picture Sophie hopping into the tub with me to help support me and maybe catch their baby while Pépe is anxiously awaiting to announce the sex and cut the cord. Since the baby isn't whisked away to be weighted and measured they will get those first precious brand new minutes/hours with Little Roo. When it is time for the newborn exam they will be right there helping measure and asking questions and observing. I can't wait! I want this to work.........
There are just a few things in our way. I am *very* restricted on who I can use for a midwife. I have to use a CNM (certified nurse midwife) that is approved by my insurance. It gets even more restrictive when we started looking for one that would deliver at home.... very restrictive. So far we have only found one. When I called her office I was told based on my previous delivery times (45 minutes to 4 hours) that I was too far away. We have been going around and around about how we can make this happen. I have 2 options left at this point before resorting back to a hospital birth. We are currently waiting for a meeting on Thursday at the midwives' office to see if they would be willing to be my primary care providers and then use my previous midwife (who isn't covered by insurance or I would be using her as my primary!) as my emergency backup until the primary midwives arrive for delivery. They have never had someone 'help' them so this would be all new, then throw in a surrogacy and it is all out of their 'zone'.... I just have to pray that everything will work out as it is supposed to. I have gotten so much more out of this surrogacy already than I ever thought!! I appreciate S&P being so open to a more 'natural' pregnancy and birth even if the getting pregnant part isn't so natural.
My last resort option would be to use the CNM & my midwife both and then just know that the CNM won't come to catch. I would just have to pay my previous midwife out of pocket. Time will tell!
So many of the things that go into a contract are 'just in case'. For example you never expect to have a hysterectomy but if I did it is written into my contract. How far from home I am allowed to travel after 24 weeks - it was set at 50 miles, which if you know where I live is a little ridiculous! When you print off the document it is a little daunting how long and detailed it is....
We all want to make sure that we are covered. The parents don't want to be financially drained but they want to make sure that all the basis are covered. I don't think that financially my family should be negatively affected and I don't want to inadvertently have a breach of contract so we are all just covering our bases.
I have talked to S&P about all the modifications that I am looking at making so that we keep an open dialog between all parties. Then I talk to my lawyer, he changes it and then sends it off again.
Now for the EXCITING part!!! I mentioned earlier that we were on the same page regarding not vaccinating but it has gone one step further........ they would like me to use a midwife for delivery and have given their blessing to have a homebirth!!!! I am so, so excited!
I am excited for me because while I had geared myself up for having another hospital birth I *loved* giving birth at home. I am also excited for S&P because I really believe that by having a homebirth they will be able to be much more involved in the birth and afterbirth then they would be allowed to in a hospital. I can picture Sophie hopping into the tub with me to help support me and maybe catch their baby while Pépe is anxiously awaiting to announce the sex and cut the cord. Since the baby isn't whisked away to be weighted and measured they will get those first precious brand new minutes/hours with Little Roo. When it is time for the newborn exam they will be right there helping measure and asking questions and observing. I can't wait! I want this to work.........
There are just a few things in our way. I am *very* restricted on who I can use for a midwife. I have to use a CNM (certified nurse midwife) that is approved by my insurance. It gets even more restrictive when we started looking for one that would deliver at home.... very restrictive. So far we have only found one. When I called her office I was told based on my previous delivery times (45 minutes to 4 hours) that I was too far away. We have been going around and around about how we can make this happen. I have 2 options left at this point before resorting back to a hospital birth. We are currently waiting for a meeting on Thursday at the midwives' office to see if they would be willing to be my primary care providers and then use my previous midwife (who isn't covered by insurance or I would be using her as my primary!) as my emergency backup until the primary midwives arrive for delivery. They have never had someone 'help' them so this would be all new, then throw in a surrogacy and it is all out of their 'zone'.... I just have to pray that everything will work out as it is supposed to. I have gotten so much more out of this surrogacy already than I ever thought!! I appreciate S&P being so open to a more 'natural' pregnancy and birth even if the getting pregnant part isn't so natural.
My last resort option would be to use the CNM & my midwife both and then just know that the CNM won't come to catch. I would just have to pay my previous midwife out of pocket. Time will tell!
I am glad that behind the scenes things are going well.
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