Everyone is pointing fingers!!

I have to say I am really glad to be dealing with all of this NOW instead of after the fact but *seriously*!??!?!?

Why can't anyone take responsibility?   

Why does everyone have to keep pointing the finger at someone else?

Why does everyone keep deferring to another person?

Do we need to sit down and all have a conversation so that EVERYONE is on the same page?  

I know that all the people I am dealing with are talking to each other.   The agency is talking to the insurance people.  The lawyers are talking to the agency.  The agency is talking to their Executive group.  The insurance is talking to their CEO.   The agency is talking to me.  The insurance is talking to me.  The lawyer is talking to me.  BUT, I get word from one giving me an answer.  Then the next day I get an answer from someone different saying we are still working on it.   Seriously people!!!!!!!!!!!  AUGH!!!!!!!

So right now as it stands:
    Insurance said: As of now the home delivery and the mid-wife would not be covered under the policy.

    Lawyers said:  "Agency" has approved all of your requested revisions except for your request for a homebirth.

    Agency said: ...even though you and the IPs are in agreement, there may still be an issue as this is outside of the program guidelines.   We are following up with "Insurance" as well to ensure that the proper coverage would be in place. 

So who is really making the choices?    My thoughts are:  The agency has 'rules' in place because that is how most clients want to deliver (in a hospital), but S&P would like to approach the birth with a little calmer transition and do a homebirth.   They actually found a surrogate that is in total agreement and would *love* to do that for them.   Since it isn't the 'normal' thing for the agency they are freaking out.  I just don't get how it is THEIR concern if the surro and the parents are in agreement.   The insurance was fine with covering a CNM but now they know that one could possibly attend a homebirth they are scrambling.   Insurance was always told it was the agency that would allow it.  The agency said it was a rule because the insurance won't allow it.      ...and somehow the lawyer is involved and 'asking permission' to add things to our contract that WE have agreed upon!!! AUGH!    *deep breathing*   *deep breathing*

I know since I have been around long enough that the agency owners also have ownership in the lawyers we are using and also with the insurance that we are using.  I guess that is a complication you run into when you put all your eggs in one basket.  Instead of all acting on their own they all go running back 'mommy & daddy' for help and guidance so they don't get in trouble.

Sorry I am venting, but I need to.

The midwife that we can have insurance coverage for has agreed to see me for all prenatal appointments but they don't feel comfortable coming so far for the birth.  GREAT!  My local midwife has said that she will work out an agreement with ME without involving insurance.  We would still use the insurance for everything *but* the actual birth.   I was told by my agency in the beginning that if I chose a midwife I would have to pay out of pocket.  Okay, I am okay with that.  It is worth it to me.   Then last week I was told by my insurance that 'plenty of other clients' just pay for the midwife out of pocket and everyone is happy.  Great!  That will totally work for me.   We would still be utilizing the insurance that we need and would have 'just in case' and I could still utilize a midwife to catch the baby.

How is this not okay with everyone after everyone said it was okay?!?!?!

I know that I am being stubborn and still fighting it, but I am just not the type of girl to just lay down and surrender.  Maybe one of these days I will post the letter I wrote to MY insurance company after they denied my homebirth/midwife..... let's just say - I got a letter and a check shortly there after to help pay for it.   :o)  I am stubborn!

This is the summary on my thoughts:
   ~ S&P would like to use a midwife and are totally comfortable with a homebirth
   ~ I would love to give birth in the comfort of my own home
   ~ Insurance will cover a midwife
   ~ I have an insurance covered midwife that has agreed to see me for all my prenatal appointments
   ~ I have a midwife that has agreed to come catch S&P's baby in my home that *I* am okay with paying out of pocket for because it is that important to me.

Sometimes I just feel like screaming at my computer, instead I breath deeply many, many times.  Sometimes it helps.  

Ok, back to the finger pointing. 

Ruffling feathers

Well, in not so many words it appears as if I am ruffling a few feathers.

I get the feeling that I am being viewed as high maintenance or a trouble maker.   Which, I have been called more than once in my life....

Without going into too many details with Sophie, Pépe & I requesting an out of hospital birth is causing problems.  My agency doesn't allow them.  They don't allow them because insurance doesn't allow them.  But *if* I selected the right provider I could have her cover my birth and as long as there wasn't any 'facility fee' it wouldn't be a problem. *midwives don't charge me to use my own house. ;-)*  Since it is a request of the parents my case manager is now taking all of my documented emails between the parents and I to the executive board.   

We have also been working on contracts........  When S&P decided to add in a few special requests they gave me a heads up and it was very much appreciated.   When I had modifications I extended the same courtesy.  I was asking for a few things to have a higher fee (most were hypothetical, but I felt strongly enough to ask for more) and still others I was waiving fees on.  Give a little, get a little.   It is negotiations, right?  Well apparently by me talking directly to the parents I can get in trouble.   I obviously ruffled my lawyers feathers today 'cuz around 5pm I got an email saying that I could "affects someone’s ability to say they are signing a contract 100% voluntarily".  Mine or theirs.  I need to stay at arms distance to avoid that possible problem.   Ok fine.   No one ever told me that before....  Here I thought it was a good thing if we could come to an agreement on issues.  Apparently the lawyers feel they aren't doing their job or something - I dunno.  So right now my lawyer is waiting to hear back from the agency as to whether or not I am 'allowed' to modify my contract.  Isn't that what I have a lawyer for, to protect me and my interests?

I am also waiting to hear back from insurance regarding a few 'what if' situations.  They will also be talking to my agency.   Ahhh........ they are going to be so glad to get rid of me when this journey is done.    Did they forget that the pysch eval said I was a bit rebellious?

Wish I could just call the Agency owner directly and talk to her.   

Maybe I will.