Newborn Feet

Newborn Feet

Friday, July 23, 2010

SMO Addict

Hello,  my name is Heather and I am an SMO addict.  There is an online support group for surrogate mothers (and parents) that I decided to become a part of when I started looking at becoming a surrogate mother again.   After I got pregnant I made the decision to still continue to be part of the community since I had 'been there, done that' and might be able to offer some words of advise.   

I think this might be a hang up for me.  I am still hearing the joy that the girls get when they are getting their BFP for their IP's.  I am weeping with then when a baby is lost (and it has been a hard month!).  I listen to the stories from IM's about their longing for a baby and having circumstances change that.

I feel guilty.  I feel connected, but then again not.  I have become friends with some of the women on the board and want to continue following their journeys but I think I need to step away from the 'support board' since I am not a surrogate.   It is also very taboo too announce that you are leaving *snort* so, I am not doing that.   :)   I'll just leave it here.

So for those of you that are 'blog stalkers' from SMO - I wish you the best and I will continue following your journey's on your blogs but I can't be a part of the day to day *drama*, fun and support on SMO.   I am having a hard time getting excited about my own pregnancy.  If I hadn't have gotten pregnant with our own I would probably be in the 2WW for my couple.  This breaks my heart......

My womb has been filled, now I need my heart to be filled......
                    maybe then I'll get my sparkle back.


  1. I completely understand you! I am part of a surrogate board also and I love supporting my girls, every BFP, my ovaries hurt.. every birth, I want to rewind to my own surrobabys birth! Its bitter sweet! Take the time to enjoy YOUR pregnancy!! Join baby center and chat it up! xo

  2. My heart hurts for you, Heather. Praying for you to get your sparkle back.

  3. Can I help in anyway? I want my heather, my best friend, my sister, my adventure buddie to shine!!!! Love you my dear.


  4. Heather, I totally understand the need to step away. If you came to SMO to only plug into our May group, please do! We are all very loving and have another gal expecting her own there. We just want to share with you and rally around you, be excited for the OB visits, get the cute belly pics and connect. If not, I understand.

    I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I hope I never hurt you and certainly never meant to back in May/June. From my heart to yours, I'm sincerely sorry if I did. Hugs.

  5. Hey dear, I'll be following from here (and there when you show up) and on, I sound like a stalker! :) You know I'm here for ya and I can't wait to see every step of your progress!! :D


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