Newborn Feet

Newborn Feet

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Aches & Pains

One of the biggest pregnancy complaints you hear about is all the aches and pains that go along with it.........  There are many other um, unpleasant things that go along with most pregnancies, but unless you are Jenny Garth you probably won't discuss them in a casual setting.  If you do, it will be amongst your closest friends!

So what happens to your body during the pregnancy?

Well, after the gas stage passes and the puking stage passes you are left with a tiny human that is growing and taking over your midsection.  Your balance is thrown off, you might be a bit more clumsy.  Might not be able to put on your socks or your shoes very easily.   When you drop something on the floor you hope you are talented enough to pick it up with your toes or have a child close by to ask them for assistance.   They are closer to the floor as it is, right?

Now that I am in my 35th week I can say that I have definitely experience some aches and pains along the way.   For the most part, unless is *bad* I don't complain a whole lot.   Really, how can your body go through such drastic changes and NOT shift, move, tweak, hurt, etc?

 So what hurts?  For me personally; this time around I haven't had too many problems.  My biggest complaint has to be that I have had a couple days that my crotch is KILLING me!!  I feel like I need to just push it all back together.   The worst was probably after I sat on a {not very cushy} bar stool for 7 hours wrapping Christmas presents!   Oh - OUCH!   My back was also bothering me a bit that time too.   I know that my pelvis widens up and my hips tweak themselves out a bit too and that is probably part of the migration....  Nothing like a soft squishy couch to relax on when it was all said and done!!

My second biggest complaint that I don't talk a whole lot about is a spot on my right side that I have pains at.  I truly believe I have needle tract endometriosis.  After a whole lot of research it is the only thing I have come up with that can be causing me pain.  With my second surrogacy I had an amino done and in each pregnancy since then I have had pain where the needle went in for the amino.  Even with this pregnancy I had a shooting pain before I even knew I was pregnant and I thought "Wow, that was weird, I normally only get pain there when I am pregnant."   {Duh.}   Anyway, I am not sure all the details, but it just feels like my uterus is attached to my side by a string somehow and if I move too much, took quickly or stretch funny it hurts.   When I am not pregnant it has never bothered me.    I actually called the doctor that did my amnio and he told me how many thousands of patients he had had and had never had a complaint.......  Kind of coincidental dontcha think?  

OK - I am sparing you the pictures on the next topic that I hear a lot of complaints about.... hemorrhoids.    Yeah, those nasty things.   Now since I have had *way* more children than most of my friends (kidding.... Kind of) I get a lot of people that ask me for my opinions or thoughts on certain pregnancy topics.  I *totally* don't mind this at all!!   However it seems like more times than not I get people that ask me about hemorrhoids.   When I tell them that that is one topic I have NO idea about, they sometimes get mad at me!  "How can you have had "x" amount of babies and NOT had hemorrhoids?!?!?"   *shrug* 
I have no idea - how did you get them???   So I thank my lucky stars that while my butt might be getting fatter, it doesn't have those.  For those of you that get them, have them or might get them - I am really sorry, but I have no suggestions for you.  

The thing keeping me up most nights is heartburn.   Stupid thing.   Another symptom that ONLY happens when I am pregnant!   Now I know that TUMS would be the nice simple answer, but too many can actually cause your placenta to start to calcify which then in turn makes your placenta have 'dead' spots which can no longer filter and provide nutrients to your baby.   So - I have tried the papaya enzymes that were suggested to me, but I can't seem to get those to work.   I really don't want to drink the apple cider vinegar, so I suffer or break down and have ONE antacid and try to go back to sleep.

I get tired and out of breath a lot.  If I have to go upstairs I normally sit and rest once I get up there.   I am lucky that my shower has a seat in it - 'cuz I have to sit in the middle of my shower.   Today I took my kids to to the store and had to get really low to look at the price tag on something and just decided to sit and rest while I was down there.   Unfortunately I scared one of the workers when she saw this huge preggo sitting on the floor...... next time I'll try hiding better!

So yes, I could whine and complain a lot or I can suck it up and say - your know what, it isn't easy growing a small child!   I don't like to complain.  I don't want to sound like a crotchety old lady.   :)  My body is doing the BEST job that it can do and I am happy with that!   Sure, if I had quit after 2 kids I wouldn't be complaining at all, but this way one family has 2 kids and my family is working on number 4!   

That is pretty awesome!   My body was made to have babies!!!  

Being pregnant isn't always easy but then -  take a minute to think about all the women that would trade places with you and all your aches and pains in a heartbeat just to have ONE child......... 

I know I am blessed! 

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!!

Christmas is fast approaching and so is the New Year.  Time to do a quick update - and why not at 4am since I am  not sleeping?  It is officially Christmas Eve!!!

Six years ago my husband and I were anxiously awaiting our first (biologically ours!) child together.  My due date:  December 26th.   Our first planned homebirth.  The set up was the same as this year, Christmas Eve on Friday, Christmas Saturday and the due date on Sunday.   My husband, Mark works Sunday through Thursday and kept hoping I would have the baby so he wouldn't have to go back to work on Sunday.... no such luck. 

We spent Christmas Eve with his side of the family and Christmas day with my side.   I took a nice long, relaxing bath that night and went to bed.  I woke up (without looking back at 'notes') a little after 9am (maybe 9:30....)on my due date, and had a couple contractions.  I went down stairs with my *very* attentive 5 year old, Tilor in tow.  I got the big giant clock off our wall and had Ti bring me the phone after I dropped to my knees for a contraction.   While I was on the phone calling Mark he was in charge of getting me some ice water.   I remember very specifically calling Mark and saying:  "I think I want you to come home right now."   His response.......... "Call me back when you know for sure."   Seriously?!?!?!   Do you know how hard it was to call you NOW???

I don't remember anymore who called our midwife, but Mark did come right home from work.  I think our MW arrived about 10:15am.  I was already in the tub and Tilor was sitting on one end of it (it is a garden tub...with the 'counter' around the edge of it) and staring very intently at me and saying:  "I'll let you know if the baby comes out, okay mom?"   Gee, thank you son!   *smile*

Our son Zeyon Christopher was born at 10:50 am.   Our backup midwife didn't make it, but that was fine - everything went very well.   When we finally got out of the tub and snuggled into bed and the midwives had made us breakfast we weighed him - he was a whopping 10lbs 4ozs!!
This is one of my favorite pictures because if you look at his ears you can see that they are folded up.   All his weight in utero pushed his shoulders up to his ears and molded them that way for quite awhile.  In this picture he is 2 days old.   He never was a thumb suckers, so it is interesting that he was in this picture....

So, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on Christmas Day, I also look forward to this time of year of celebrating the birth of our son, Zeyon Christopher (pronounced just like "Ian", but with a Z sound) the day after.


And in other news - I celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago.  I turned 33!!   To celebrate I decided to kidnap my husband!  I planned a night away for just the TWO of us.   If you recall we took a mini vacation back in February when Mark and I flew to LA for medical screening.  Before that, it had been 6 years since we had ever gone away ALONE!   I figured if I didn't plan something *now* that it would be another 3+ years before we could escape.  My mom helped out again - I dropped them all off at her house on Thursday evening and went home to wait for Mark.  All our stuff was packed in my car - ready to go!  When he got home at 7:30pm or so I literally met him at the door with clean clothes and told him "Go get changed we're going out!"   He was NOT thrilled.   We went back and forth a few times and I think he realized that they kids were gone and I was serious that he had to just suck it up.  *smile*   I allowed him a shower but told him he couldn't shave (I had already packed all that up!).   He assumed we were going out for dinner, so I didn't tell him anything different.   We drove an hour south and went to Lincoln City and stayed in a Junior Suite with an ocean front view.   A few times during the 24 hours he said "Thanks...." so that made me feel good.  I knew what we were doing was important for US!!!    

Here is a picture of us on the morning of my birthday on the balcony of the hotel - looking tired, but thrilled!

When we finally went to pick up the kids my mom and the little ones had  made me a birthday cake and my step-dad made his *wonderful* stroganoff.   It was a GREAT birthday!! 
*I also got a phone call from the surro-Daddy and he wished me a very Happy Birthday!!   He was in New York for work but didn't want me not to hear from them.  See, it is the little things that make me smile!!!

Ok, so baby update real quick...... I am 34 weeks!!!
I had my checkup on Wednesday and things are looking great.   Baby growth has slowed down a little (totally fine and normal), I was only measuring 36 weeks.  She hasn't said anything about the baby being big at all this time around.... kind of surprised.  Maybe she is just assuming it is big, but 'normal' for me.  My oldest, Tilor got to go to this appointment with me 'cuz he was out of school - he loves them!  He misses not being at all of them...... This time he was able to listen to him/her with the fetoscope and she also showed him how to manipulate my belly so he could feel the back and then all the 'parts' - arms, knees, feet etc.  She also showed him how she could tell the Little Intruder was in a head down position and how to put his hand around the head and move gently.   Makes me SMILE!!!

My last belly shot was at 25 weeks - so here is a new one.   34 weeks - and here I am in all my glory!!

I know I look big to most people but I actually feel smaller this time around......

If you haven't voted on our online baby poll, please feel free!  I love the fact that we had a few brave souls that are 'silent blog stalkers' come and vote!  On the main page of blog on the right side there is a bright orange box that will take you to our voting area.   We are at 56 guesses right now and if I remember correctly we are *very* close in boy/girl ratios!!   I think we'll be closing it around the 15th of January so you have only a couple weeks left!!!

This will probably be my last update for 2010 - wow, what a ride it has been!!!   Thanks for following along and I look forward to 2011!!!   Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful, safe New Years!!

Ignore the dirty mirror - cleaning day was the next day!!  :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

31 week check-up

My apologies for not updating more often....... I have been being harassed that I needed an update, so here ya go - two updates in one day!! 

I had my 31 week check-up today and all is growing well!   We took my blood pressure a couple times (ok, 3 times) 'cuz the numbers seemed awfully close together and low.... but not something that we are too concerned about right now. My glucose was a bit high in my urine so we'll check that again next time.... probably all the cheesecake I have been eating since Thanksgiving!   Ooops.

Baby is pretty much standing on his/her head and today was posterior.  That changes almost daily!   I am measuring 36 weeks - so 5 weeks ahead.  My midwife has a theory about moms with toddlers/small children - she thinks that the body naturally increases the amniotic fluid to create an extra cushion for all those times they jump on your lap, need a snuggle or just bump you the wrong way.  I notice when I am laying down that my belly has gotten 'wider' this time.  Baby seems to be just the right size, it is my belly that is big.   I figure my uterus has stretched out and it is just ready and waiting for the baby to grow into it.  

We had a nice chat and I asked about getting birth supplies ready.  Over the next couple appointment we'll make sure I have the list of things I need to have on hand.  The biggest at this point is food so I can have a really good meal after the birth.   I plan on delivering in my bathtub (although she recommended a birth tub this time around so I had more room) where my last 2 were born.   My bed stays clean and comfy.  My room has supplies 'just in case' but otherwise we have towels, something to cut and clamp the cord after it stops pulsing and .....yeah, not much else.   Oh well, I guess the fishnet panties and pads.....  *smile*  

*Just to clarify - my midwives bring all the important supplies - oxygen, pitocin, sutures etc
in case there would be any type of complication!!**

My next appointment is scheduled for December 22nd (3 weeks away) and then January 5th.  After that we will be getting together every week for the next month until the baby is born.   Wow.   Amazing.

Two months from now.....

I am due two months from now....... how did that even happen?!?  

Last week I hit 30 weeks - 3/4 of the way through.  Only a quarter of this pregnancy left........ I am starting to get sad.  I really wish I could go back in time (with my sanity intact) and start this pregnancy over again.   I feel cheated.   I know it was my own fault and my own hormones, my own sadness etc that made the first 16 weeks really hard on me, but now I want to do it all over again. 

I want to celebrate getting a positive pregnancy test.  I want to have people be excited for me that I am pregnant.  I want to *wonder* with my husband 'are we?'.    But now I am here, so I have to enjoy this time I have left.

I know since it took so long for me to wrap my head and my heart around having a new baby in our house that I *might* have a hard time letting go.... I am kind of anticipating going over my 'guess date' just because I want to be pregnant and love on this baby as much as possible.  Then again, I can't wait to meet him/her!!!

My Guess Date is two months from today.  February 1st.   These last 9 weeks will FLY by, I am sure with the holidays fast approaching.   Our families have lots of birthdays this month including mine on the 10th and our son, Zeyon's the day after Christmas. 

Two weeks ago I went on a 'purge' trip and got rid of unnecessary furniture in my house that I felt was just too much.   We got rid of a couple coffee tables (baby will be learning to walk before you know it!), a train table, a chair, a desk and then we cleaned the WHOLE house.  Felt sooo nice!   My hubby kept rolling his eyes at me when I told him I wanted to get stuff ready for the baby.... we have almost 3 months still!!   "Time will go quicker than you think sweetie......."

So in order for us to prepare for our new little Intruder the only thing we NEEDED was a new car seat.  I am a little anal when it comes to car seat safety (drives the hubby nuts).  We have 2 car seats that we got when Zeyon was on his way and we had *great* timing and passed them down to Sheridan before they expired.  Well......... now we have a new baby on the way and two pretty nice looking seats that are expired.   Time to get a new one.   *Smile*   We have always gotten 2 identical seats - one for each of our rigs.  Makes it easy for the kids (they know which seat is theirs) and easy on us, we know how to work them easily.   This time around we only have ONE rig that will seat our entire family of six.   Yeah - May 9th of this year we got my hubby a 'new' truck  and it seats 5.  Perfect for us until the 28th of May when I found out we were expecting a new baby......... of course.  So this time around we are getting one seat.  I can always use one of the older ones for an emergency backup.   Oh yeah - we always get convertible seats.  I *really* dislike the infant seats.  My initial thoughts are 'pop in, pop out'.  I know they won't pass safety tests if that happened, but still....... My other thoughts are - I want to hold my child.  Sometimes it is a pain, but I make it work.  'You'll wake the baby if you take it out of the car seat'    Yeah, and they go right back to sleep.   (just my personal opinion - doesn't work for everybody!)

So this is how the cost of our new baby breaks down........

Feeding: Boob
Sleeping: Our bed
Toys: Siblings
Clothes: Boxes of boy/girl clothes just waiting to see......

Diapers/wipes - cloth. Spent about $600 six years ago and I have gotten LOTS of use out of them. Awesome since most people spend $2,000+ per kid on disposable diapers!! 
Price of having a new baby: $112.50 for the new car seat. :)
...I am happy!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

9 Years Ago....

9 years ago today I became a surrogate.   I gave birth to a child that was not biologically mine.  A child I carried for someone else.  A child I got to hand over to the parents and watch their entire world change..... I got to be there.  I got to be a part of something HUGE.   I gave birth to a baby boy that weighed 8lbs 11ozs and came after just a very quick 45 minutes of labor & delivery. 
{As you can tell by this bruised face - it was quick!}

I became a surrogate and it changed my life.

Today Harrison Asher turns 9 years old.  He is having a football party with his friends and his younger brother Ethan.   Today 9 years ago two wonderful men became Daddy & Dada.   Today 9 years ago woman who thought she might never have grandchildren got to meet her grandson for the first time.  9 years ago men and women became aunts and uncles.   9 years ago a special little boy was born.

What an incredible thing *I* got to be a part of.  What an incredible blessing to me. 

IP's and surrogates all have different arrangements when they are in the hospital for labor and delivery.   Some share a room but it seems like most IP's get a room down the hall from the surrogate.  I get it, I really do, but for us - it wouldn't have worked.   The first night we got stuck in a standard tiny room.  Not really the best set up.   My IP's actually went home that night and I kept the baby with me.   Apparently they had quite a few friends that thought they were nuts and that I might run off with the baby.... um, no.   There is that whole TRUST thing again.   Besides, I was already doing the single mom thing by that point and *really* didn't want a newborn baby to take care of!   The second night we got a 2 bedroom suite and it was wonderful!   We could close the door if either one of us wanted privacy, but I'm not sure we ever did.   (ok, maybe at night 'cuz I snored so bad.....)   I nursed Harrison the entire time I was in the hospital and the dads made sure to take lots of picture to prove that they hadn't deprived him of getting a little boob action!   ;-)  

My experience was wonderful.  I loved the family and knew that we would be doing a sibling journey sometime in the future, so to me it wasn't the end, it was just another chapter in our lives together.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Junk in that trunk!

Well that is a summary of how I have been feeling and what my family has been saying lately; I have got some junk in my trunk.   And I just cleaned my car out, so that can only mean one thing.   I am putting on some weight and ALL that weight is going to my hips and down.   Seriously.   I am sooo glad it isn't summer time but rather the fall/winter and I get to wear all the clothes I can handle.  
Let's see, it started a few weeks ago when I went away for the night with a bunch of girlfriends.  We got to stay in a hotel with a pool, so I made sure I grabbed my bikini (only suit that can fit) and made sure to shave.  Didn't want to scare anyone.   I did the obligatory pose in front of the mirror and noticed that my hips were really starting to get bigger.   Ok - a bit of a let down right before I take off, but I am going to let it slide.  Didn't end up going to the pool, so even better.  

Fast forward to just last week and my 3 year old and I were getting ready to hop in the shower... she says "Wait mom, you didn't go stand on this thing." as she walks into our closet and steps on the scale.   "Oh no" I think.  This is NOT the body image thing I want to share with my daughter.  Now I am not one of those that obsesses about her weight.  I would rather gauge myself on how I feel and how I look than what the numbers say.  At the same time, I am trying to gain weight during this pregnancy at a healthy pace so I am monitoring it.  Luckily for me when my beautiful 30# little girl went and stepped on the scale she said "see, we have to see how big our feet our getting - how big are mine now?"   Phew!!!  That was close!

Just a day or two later I was walking around naked gathering my clothes (yeah, that is normal in my house - just works for us) and out of my *darling* daughter's mouth comes: "You have a huge butt and mine is tiny."   Oh the temptation to send her flying.... her feet managed to stay on the ground and I calmly smiled and found my clothing as quickly as possible.  She is only just 3 and what comes out of their mouths at that age is just what they see.  Totally innocent and yet so painful to hear.  Ouch.   I told my husband about it that night and we both had a nice little chuckle.   {Why does *he* get the compliments like "Daddy has a big penis" and I get the big butt comments?!??!}   I just need to remember when she is months away from giving birth to her SIXTH child that I tell her that her butt looks huge.   Paybacks.

So just the other night my husband and I (momentary break to say that we just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary last Friday - October 29th!) are relaxing on the couch watching TV and he starts poking my leg.   Um.... okay.  What are you doing?  Converstaion when something like this:
Me - What are you doing?
Him - (continuing to poke up and down my leg)
Me - Are you just poking my fat or what?!?
Him - I was just wondering if you were retaining water or something?!?
Me - (Deep breathing so HE doesn't go flying across the room) Nope hunni, I told you I was just getting fat.   Same thing happened with Sheridan.  I got bigger from the waist down.  I lost it before and I am pretty sure I'll lose it again, but thank for noticing.  *big smile*   
{BTW - No anniversary sex for you tonight!}

Yeah.... I'm not bitter and really I don't think I look that bad with clothes on (again, good thing it is fall/winter!) so not many people will notice.   When they do say something it will be something along the lines of "Wow - all your weight goes straight to your belly huh?" or "You don't gain anywhere but your belly do you?!?!"  Guess I should be grateful that my belly gets HUGE, it will distract them from my HUGE BUTT!    (love you Sheridan!)

In other news I had an appointment with my midwives today.  I got to meet our backup midwife (who is actually the one that is licensed).  She mainly stayed in the background recording measurements and taking notes, but it was nice to have her there.  Of course I am still a little biased about MY midwife 'cuz she has been there for my last 2 and is the primary care provider for me with this little Intruder.   She did make a comment that for some reason she thinks she might not make it to my birth.  Eek!  Now I have read wonderful birth stories of unassisted births and I am pretty sure I could swing it, but still..... I'd like to have her there.   From where my midwife lives you can see my house - it isn't far at all.  10 minute drive tops!   Then again - that would sure be a story to tell.   Anyway, I was measuring about 30 weeks (I am 27.1) and I got to listen to the baby's heart with the fetoscope and then we let Sheridan listen with a Doppler.  We made sure that the new midwife knew our rule - that we don't want to know heart tones at all.   They can write them down in their notes, but they don't share them with us.  We don't want any guessing on if it is a boy or a girl based on heart-rates.  I did my pee stick and I also had my blood pressure and heart checked - all was good!   My next appointment is scheduled for December 1st and at that point I will be 31 weeks and then I'll start going every 2 weeks.  Once the holidays are here the time is just going to fly by - before you know it the new year will be here and our little Intruder will be making his/her debut soon after!! 
Amazingly wonderful!

Here is a shot I did at 25.2weeks for facebook.  I think it was the first belly shot I had posted.
Until next time - my huge, water-retaining butt and I are outta here!   ;-)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Happy Birthday Ethan!

Yesterday was the birthday of my youngest surro - Ethan.   On October 17, 2003 he was born and was just as beautiful of a baby as you have ever seen.  His features were soft, his head was perfect, his lips were beautiful.... I wish I could take some of the credit, but his egg donor (#508) and his Daddy sure do make lovely babies!!  He was also my smallest baby to date at 8lbs 5ozs.

I was living in Oregon during my pregnancy with Ethan but flew to California when I was 38 weeks pregnant so I could deliver with the same OB as the first surrogate and so the family could all be there to welcome their new addition.   A couple days later my 'house spouse' and my 4 1/2 year old son flew down to Cali too.

Mark (house spouse) had endured an entire pregnancy during our 9 1/2 months of dating.   *I had warned him he did NOT want to start dating me since I had plans to get pregnant 3 weeks after we met - he chose not to listen.*   Gotta say that was a very fun way to start a relationship - "Hi, this is my girlfriend and her son and yes she is pregnant but not isn't mine and no it isn't hers either."  *smile*   He had a great attitude about the whole thing and his famous saying was 'how many guys get a trial run at their girlfriends being pregnant?'  So true.

So Mark flew in the night before I ended up delivering - we weren't sure if he would be there for labor/deliver or not, but it was worth a shot.   As it was - he had perfect timing!  I had an appointment for a check in the morning and was told I was leaking a bit of amniotic fluid so I was sent to L&D.  Woot-Woot!! Without going into the entire story (maybe some day....) Ethan was born within 4 hours (tied with one of my longest labor/deliveries) and he was welcomed by his Daddies & Grandmas & Mark quickly followed by others including his big brother.

Here is a picture of Mark holding Ethan not long after he was born - it is one of my favorite pictures and is actually in a frame on my wall.   Mark might not have been related to this baby in anyway, but he felt very proud to be a support to me and to be there when Ethan was born.
Yesterday I got a call from my surro family and Ethan said "Thank you for having me".   He was on his way to his laser tag birthday party with his buddies.  If only he understood how much he has done for me and how much he and the rest of his family have been a blessing in *my* life.   Thank YOU Ethan for letting me carry you!  It was such an honor.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

It was dark......

I have been reflecting a bit lately about when I found out I was pregnant.   I know I didn't share a whole lot here - I was still in shock and didn't really believe what was going on.  Now that I am feeling much better about this pregnancy (I feel 'normal' again!) I can look back at what I was going through and process things much easier.

I found out on a Friday evening about 8 o'clock.  My family was all gone (fishing I think...) and I decided a bath all ALONE sounded wonderful!  I knew my period was due and before the witch decided to make her apperance I wanted to do that NEGATIVE pregnancy test that I had been talking about.  I wanted a negative test to compare to ones that I was hoping would be positive come transfer time.   When you are early pregnant the tests aren't always obvious that they are positive, so I was planning on peeing on sticks (POAS) 3 or 4 times a day.   (crazy, yes, but remember; I did pass that psych test!)   Surrogates get a little crazy when it is testing time and I was just trying to make sure that when I *thought* I saw a line I would have something to compare it too.  Makes sense, right?  

Ok, so anyway, I peed on my stick and set it on the edge of the bathtub and went to get my towel ready, my cup of water and a hershey's chocolate bar.   Now, if you know me then you know I do NOT like chocolate.   I am thinking to myself "geez, totally PMS'ing here - I am eating chocolate!" and as I broke myself off a bite I caught site of the pregnancy test sitting on the edge of the tub and dropped my chocolate into the water.   There were TWO lines on the test.    WHAT?!?!?!?   I didn't believe it.  I couldn't believe it.  I threw it in the drawer in the bathroom.   No way.   It has to be wrong.... has to be.   My relaxing bath turned out to be anything BUT relaxing.  I kept getting up, looking in the drawer and then shutting it.  Over and over. 

I stayed in the tub about an hour and drank my water - the chocolate bar is still to this day open and sitting in my night stand - half eaten.  When I got out I got a different type of test -- why should I trust those stupid internet tests anyway, right?!?!  So I got out one of my digital test (you have to understand that I was VERY prepared with tests - I think I had about 80......) - I peed and within the time frame it told me it read very clearly "pregnant".   Holy Sh*t.   Yeah....... I took a picture and sent it to my best friend that has know about everyone one of my tests first - and she was heading across country  moving and never got the message until a few days later.   Then I sent the picture of the two tests to my best mom friend and said something to the effect of "Holy Sh*t, I am in trouble!"  Not normally the words I would choose, but how else can you express that much shock?!?!

My friend had a hard time figuring out what was in the little picture on her phone but with what I said quickly figured it out.... we 'talked' back and forth for awhile and when my family returned home I said goodnight to everyone and went to bed early.   Not that I could sleep.

I had to tell my husband.   I had to tell S&P.  I had to tell my agency.  How?!?!  What do I say?  I am still trying to figure out how I got pregnant!!   After pretending to be asleep and tossing and turning for half the night I got up around 2am and went to my computer.  I calculated what I could for dates coming up disbelieving each time.  Then I wrote my husband an email.   Yeah - I figured he couldn't kill me if he read that I was pregnant in an email - I would be long gone by the time he read it.   *smile*  Just kidding...... kind of.   I sent the email with the title of 'please read sitting down'.

In the morning I tried to play normal happy wife, we all turned on cartoons and sat around while my stomach was turning and twisting.  Finally my hubby said he was going to go check his email.... I waited just a bit and then followed him in, kissed him on the head and said I was heading up to take a shower.

Up until this point I had been in shock.   I really didn't believe what was going on (of course I took another internet cheapy test and the stupid thing still had 2 lines on it!).   Once I got in the shower I let the reality of what was happening hit me and I cried.   I cried and cried - I had a hard time catching my breath but just let the water wash away my tears.   My daughter came up and joined me at some point and I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself...... then I heard my husband coming and I lost it.
 He opened the shower curtain and looking back I was standing but in the most fetal position I could be in and he looked at me and shook his head and closed the curtain.     

.....oh the tears that followed.  The pain.......

Then he did something that I will never forget - he opened the curtain back up and said "Why are you crying?  We have three beautiful children and we are going to have another one!!!  God obviously had different plans than we did and that's okay - we will make this work, but you need to stop crying!"   Of course after hearing that I couldn't stop crying, but my tears at that point were tears of relief.   My husband was going to stand by my side and we were going to get through this.

My journey to being 'okay with this' was definitely a difficult one.  Emotionally I was ready to be pregnant, but not ready to love the baby like I would love my own child.  I was ready to love like I was loving/caring for my friends baby - which is what you want when you are are a surrogate!!   Emotionally wrapping my head and my heart around the change was HUGE.   I was also much sicker with this pregnancy than I was with any other and I am sure that it was my emotions affecting me phsyically.  Once I got to about 16 weeks I started feeling better physically and feeling the baby move was a HUGE boost in my emotional well being.   Now that I am more than 1/2 way through I am so excited and can't wait to meet this baby.

   Our family is ready.   I am ready. 

Monday, September 27, 2010

Baby Poll!

Well I decided to do it again - we are hosting an online baby poll!   Guess gender, birth-date, weight, length and what time our little Intruder will be born.  With us going 'all natural' it makes guessing A LOT of fun!   Sorry, there are no prizes for winning other than the fact that you get bragging rights.  :)

Boy or a Girl?

When will s/he arrive?

Come anticipate with us!   Registration is NOT required but recommended if you think you might need to change your guess or if you want an email from the site letting you know if you won the poll or not.  Otherwise, just join us for a bit of fun.  The more the merrier.    I would also like to challenge the silent blog stalkers (ya know, if you read but never comment or if you only follow privately) to leave a guess and as your name/info you can just add that you are a blog reader - I would LOVE that!   So, what do ya say?  Takes less than a minute and it is a BLAST!!!

Click HERE to vote!
There is also a link on the side of the page -

ETA - pictures are up now.  :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Grand Multipara


Grand multipara: The term "multipara" applies to any woman who has given birth 2 or more times. A woman who has given birth 5 or more times is called a grand multipara.

For a pregnancy to count as a "birth", it must go to at least 20 weeks' gestation (the mid-point of a full-term pregnancy) or yield an infant that weighs at least 500 grams, irrespective of whether the infant is liveborn or not.

The term "multipara" is composed of two Latin words: "multi-" from "multus", much + "-para" from "pario", to bring forth = to bring forth much (in the way of children)

I have never been one for labels - especially ones that bring a negative connotation to them.   Grand Multipara to me is a way to label a woman that has had 'too many' kids.  If you look it up you find crazy stories like the Duggar family or ladies that have had so many children their vagina is gonna fall off.  Most of the women are in their mid-40's and look like they have a ton of kids.   A total stereotype!

When people ask me if this is my first pregnancy (HA!) or what number baby this is for me I always hesitate.    Well the first question I can answer pretty easily, but then what do I say?  How much do I want to share?  How much time do I have?   This is my fourth baby, but it is my sixth baby also.  I try to be honest - I like to educate people about surrogacy - and say something to the effect of:   "This is the fourth baby for my family but will be the 6th baby I deliver.  I was a surrogate mother for 2 other children."   Responses vary from shock and disbelief to admiration and everything in between.   The one I laugh at probably the most (and probably the most appreciative) is the: "Wow!   You don't look like you have had ___fill in the blank__ kids!"  Although I am not exactly sure what some one with ___fill in the blank__ kids should look like I take it as a compliment - because obviously from the look of shock on their face - it is!

While there are always risks involved with pregnancy and birth when you are labeled as a Grand Multipara you are now automatically considered high risk.  Although 90-95% of pregnancies labeled high risk deliver healthy, viable babies.  Some of the things that an OB would watch for would be rapid labor {yet women that have delivered multiple times also tend to have prodromal labor - start and stop, start and stop - more often}, and postpartum hemorrhaging due to having a 'tired' uterus.   A uterus that has lost muscle tone and doesn't clamp down quickly could lead to more blood loss.
 Luckily for me - I know all this, my midwives know all this and we are proactive in my health care.   My back up midwife will have pitocin on hand 'just in case' but I also know to nurse my baby as soon as possible and to take it easy!   With the birth of this baby, as with the last 2 I will be on restriction following the birth.  My plans are to deliver in my bathtub upstairs which means that is where I will be for the week following - upstairs.  In bed.  Relaxing.  Bonding.  Nursing.  Healing.  Resting.  'Cuz we all know that I don't want my guts falling out!!!   After a week I will be allowed downstairs - at first just one trip down and I'll be resting on the couch then back up stairs 'til the next day.  All this is done to help me heal and to promote good mother/baby bonding.   Even if I am an OLD mom with too many kids under my belt!   ;-)    
...and I could totally catch that Duggar lady if I wanted too.   I just don't want to..... well that and our house isn't be enough.  Oh yeah, and I nurse for too long.  My hubby wants to be done having kids at 50.  And............ 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Half Way!

Wow!  Can you believe it?  I made it - I have survived the first half of this pregnancy.   The second half I anticipate will be a quicker, fuller, more emotionally stable ride.   I can't wait!!!!

This little Intruder has been growing by leaps and bounds and it learning to stretch and bump at all hours.  Hubby has been able to feel the bumps more strongly now and the kids will probably be able to start being *still* enough to feel him/her soon also.

From one pregnancy site:  If you're having a girl, her uterus is now fully formed and her ovaries are holding about seven million primitive eggs. If you're having a boy, his testicles have begun their descent from the abdomen to their ultimate destination — the scrotum. And while your baby is definitely getting bigger (weighing in at about ten ounces and measuring six and a half inches), there's still plenty of growing room in there, which allows him to twist and turn (and allows you to feel his acrobatics!).   

And another about the way babies are measured:  Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

 I had my appointment last week with my midwife and I was measuring right on track and my iron has gone back up to 12.7!!  I am so excited that I got it up almost 3 whole points which is just about where it was pre-pregnancy.   We expect over the next 2-4 weeks that it will drop back down again as my body increases the blood supply for the duration of the pregnancy - all perfectly normal and to be expected.

Yesterday was not only my 20 week milestone it was also the beginning of my MOPS year.  MOPS is an international organization that is designed to help encourage, equip and develop women to be the best moms they can be.  I am the coordinator of our local group but I have been attending for about 5 years and I lovingly call it my 'sanity saver'.   :)  We meet 2x/month during the school year and it is 2 hours of hanging out with other moms while we enjoy a breakfast, a speaker, a craft & discussion time.  We are all in the same season of life - all of us have children kindergarten age or younger.  Yesterday I got to announce my pregnancy!   Well, most of the women knew I would probably be pregnant when we came back in the fall but I did get to clarify that this was *our* baby to a couple people that hadn't heard yet.  

Sometimes I am still blown away that we are having another baby - my oldest son is in 6th grade, my youngest son just started kindergarten this week and my little girl turns 3 in just a couple weeks.   My kids all seem to be spaced just perfectly for our family and I know 3+ years isn't a long spacing by any means.... just still surprises me.   Now when I think about it though, I smile.  I am done crying.     *smile*

Here is to another 20 weeks!!!     

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

19.1 Week Belly Shots

Okie dokie - I am getting close to half way, I can't believe it!!!    Yesterday my oldest 'baby' started 6th grade and next week my youngest son starts kindergarten........ Wow!!   I guess with each hope, anticipation & celebration of all the new milestones we forget that the days on the calendar keep turning.

I am posting TWO belly shots today - because of the way I carry (down & out) I have been very conscientious about making sure that my stomach muscles are always tight when I am walking around.  I don't want any complications and I *sure* don't need my muscles separating more than they already do.   {...and No, I haven't found my belly bra yet - I think it is time I break down and buy a new one.  Fiddles Sticks.}  So anyway, one shot is of me 'sucking in' and the other is just totally relaxed.  I hope to give you a chance to see what I say when I carry down and out - that I am not exaggerating!

So anyways - there you are.   Still not sure why I started wearing no shirt in the pictures, but I figure I might as well keep doing what I started doing.... kind of like wearing brown pants.  ;-)

Oh yeah, speaking of pants - I had a huge pity party on FB earlier this week.   I was whining about not having clothes that fit, wearing the same clothes that I have been wearing for the last 8 years blah, blah, blah.   Well, part of that is true.  I had worn a shirt that day that I realized I had worn when I went to the hospital to deliver my 2nd surro-son (and he turns 7 next month).  It is just an 'old' shirt.  I also have already had to retire 2 pairs of maternity jeans 'cuz they were too tight.  I did get 2 new shirts and 2 new pairs of jeans for this pregnancy, but I try not to wear the same pair of jeans for more than a week.....   *smile*  So yes, I am limited on my clothes.  Being pregnant 6 times in the last 12 years in totally different climates (sunny, Southern California & Oregon Coast), due dates/seasons different, styles changing, body changing it just gets OLD sometimes.  I was blessed with my pregnancy 4 years ago with my daughter - I got a box of maternity clothes from Liz Lange herself!! (total hook-up from my previous surro family) And no, not her Target line.... her Hollywood line.  Such NICE stuff.  There are a few pieces I wear regularly, but some of the stuff is just *way* too nice to wear where I live.....   Ho-hum.   So, after I put on my hubby's shorts and shirt and whined a little more I did my laundry and was pleased that I had a few more things to wear......  and they were clean.   Maybe next time I'll try that before I whine.  maybe.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

A little shout out to female bloggers -

Female bloggers ages 13-30! If you or someone you know is a blogger who writes about friends, family,
relationships, fashion, music, food, school, current events or nearly anything else and feel you've got a story to tell on television, contact Patti at - with your blog, contact info and a recent photo.
 I personally know Patti and am proud to say she works for a wonderful company!   

I know that I read many blogs that I think would be wonderful for her to feature, but I am not going to go post this on their pages since I don't know these women personally.... BUT - if you do, please feel free to share!!!   

Monday, August 30, 2010

Bumping the Belly

I was told I needed to do an update, but until just the other day I didn't have anything new to report - -

Saturday evening I felt the little Intruder bumping around and placed my hand instinctively on my belly.   Then I felt him/her bump on my hand.   Nothing too noticeable, just a little bump.   I grinned ear to ear and grabbed my husbands hand and placed it on my belly.   Withing a few seconds he looked at me at the same time I looked at him.....  "Did you feel it?" I asked excitedly?!?!   "Well maybe, but it felt really soft like your heartbeat."

That was it.  Our babies first HELLO to daddy.  *smile*   What a warm, wonderful feeling!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

16 weeks - 4 months

Just thought I would do a quick belly shot update (I think my last one was 8 weeks...Ooops!)

I am (according to MY calculations) 16 weeks, 4 lunar months!   I am pretty darn sure it has been over a week since I have thrown up.  Yippee!!!  I am not starving all the time.   I can go sometimes a couple hours without eating.   I am feeling baby bump more and more regular.  My contractions started about a week ago.   Pregnancy is progressing nicely!

According to one place I get my baby updates from; the little Intruder is almost 5" long by now.   Our baby might be sucking his/her thumb.  We could probably tell gender if we wanted to know - we don't!  The eyes and ears are all in their correct places and the circulatory system is completely functional. 

Can I tell you how stuffy I have been?!?!?  Geez - every morning when I wake up I have to sneeze like crazy and numerous times throughout the day I will have sneezing fits.   It's crazy.  Again, I have never been this plugged up with any other pregnancy - it is almost comical.  

Here is an inside look at a 16 week old fetus -
So awesome!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Got Boobs?

Dude.  I got boobs.   And they fricken' hurt!!!!

I know breast tenderness is one of first signs of being pregnant, but with this pregnancy it is just NOW starting (at 15 weeks).   Seriously.   They are finally starting to inflate and look like boobs again and not just flat pancakes rolled up and stuffed into a bra....... I am so excited!!

When I got pregnant with my oldest my boobs growing was the first thing I noticed - although I didn't put it together that I was pregnant.  I was just excited my boobs were finally growing, I had always wanted them just a 'little bit bigger'.  To celebrate my new found fluffy-ness I went out and pierced one of them.  I was 20 years old, living in Vegas and decided *that* was what I was going to do.....    It    H.U.R.T.   A lot.   Looking back now I realize it was because I was pregnant, but who would have thunk it?!?!   :-)

The OB I finally got (once I realized I was pregnant) scared the crap out of me and told me the piercing needed to come out ASAP or blah, blah, blah could happen.   Well of course OB's know *everything* so I removed it almost immediately.   Dang, I really enjoyed having it....

Fast forward a couple years.  I am done breastfeeding, getting ready to do a surrogacy but thing are, as normal, hurry up and wait.   So I figure, you know what - I won't be breastfeeding this baby (...right....), I should go pierce BOTH my nipples this time.   So I did.  I wasn't pregnant and had breastfed my son for 10 months..... those piercings didn't hurt a bit.   I was laying on the table with my legs Indian style and the girl pierce both sides.   AWESOME!!!  I loved them.   They healed quickly, they felt great and of course, they looked wonderful - click if you want to see someone ELSE's up close shot of a nipple ring

....well since I was in a holding pattern for surrogacy I got in big trouble for having a piercing done.   So I inadvertently cause *another* 6 month delay.  They had to wait that long for Hep & HIV testing to be redone.   Just a little rebellious.   As my hormones changed with pregnancy one of the piercings 'looked funny' and the fertility doctor freaked out and removed it - turns out later, he apologized and said he over reacted.  But, I kept the one in through the entire pregnancy 'til I went to nurse that baby in the hospital and realized "...Hmmm, that might be kind of difficult" so I removed the barbell I had in and put it in the little dixie cup they gave me.  Of course a few minutes later I was moved to the recovery room and that little dixie cup got left behind......

Some day I'll pierce again..... I really enjoyed them.   And let me tell you - I have pierced my nose since then and that HURTS!!! It also never healed - so I took that puppy out!   Give me a nipple piercing any day..... just not anytime soon 'cuz my boobs are really sensitive right now.  I think the HCG is finally migrating out of my sickness stage into the 'I get to grow boobs' stage.   Finally!!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Time for Sparkle

I think it is high time for me to start being sparkly again!   I am doing better and better with managing my morning (all day) sickness and I am starting to feel GOOD!  
I can't say 'what' has changed, but I think that I am finally opening up my heart all the way.  I am being blessed and I need to start showing it.  I have been saying what I know and what I *should* be feeling all along, but it is really hard to get my mind and my heart on the same page.  I think I have been migrating this direction for a couple weeks, but I think I have finally arrived where I was trying to get to - being happy.

I am almost 15 weeks - more than a 1/3 of the way through this pregnancy.   We got to hear the baby on doppler this last week.  Our baby's heartbeat in the comfort of our living room.  What is better than that?
Looking back now I can say that I have been depressed.  I know I just needed to 'snap out of it', but it was definitely easier said than done.  I am glad I recognized where I was - even while going through it.  I didn't feel like anyone was in danger and I kept checking myself to see if I needed to seek out help.  My close friends know I have been having a hard time, some have been praying for me (Thank you!).   It was just some place that *I* needed to bring myself out of.  My husband called me on it one day - he said something to the effect of 'our baby is going to know if you aren't happy and I need you to be happy that we are having another baby!'  Of course the tears flowed.....    I knew I wasn't in a good place, but I always felt like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I always want to have 4 children..... but I always said I was going to be done having children at 30.  I made it.  Our daughter was born when I was 29.    When this beautiful Intruder comes I will be 33.......... I know it isn't old by any means (my hubby will turn 50 the month after the baby is born!), but this pregnancy has been more difficult on me than any of the other ones so far.   I am positive that my emotions were probably playing more of a role in effecting the physically than I was giving them credit for. 

Now let's hope I can stay in a place where I am sparkly and unicorns fart rainbows!!  ETA - And poop butterflies!   :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My time in France is done....

I am not a surrogate for Sophie & Pepe.   I don't get to be a surrogate for Sophie & Pepe.   They have moved on and (hopefully) have found their perfect match of a surrogate.   I need to move on.

On my phone I have had MY time and Paris time - it made me feel closer to S&P knowing at a glance what time it was where they were.  Just getting off work?   Enjoying breakfast?  Settling down to watch their American TV shows?

I realized I needed to move on.   So, I have finally deleted Paris time off my phone.   Now, it isn't a constant remind of what I didn't get to accomplish with them.  I don't have that twinge of pain every time I call or text someone. 

I haven't  heard from them since there were in Oregon in June.  Pepe said they would let me know when they are holding a baby in their arms.... I don't know if that will happen or not.  I would hope that they would, but then again, I wouldn't blame them at all if I don't ever hear from them again.   I have their email address, but I don't want to intrude.  I don't want to cause them any more hurt.  I am giving them space.

My time in France is done.  au revoir et salut

Monday, August 2, 2010

14 Week Flip

Well I have hit the 2nd trimester and it was like a switch has been flipped.  At 12 weeks I started NOT puking every morning.  Yippee!! I still have had a couple 'off' days, but normally it is when I am pushing myself to do too much too early or I didn't eat very well in the morning.

Today I had my 'almost 14 week' check up.  We didn't do any blood/urine monitoring, but I know that my iron is still really low so I am going to start doing some OTC supplements to try to get it back up.  I am definitely doing better on protein, but still not too well with the red meat.
One thing that was brought up today at my appointment is that fact that my uterus is already starting to 'tip out'.   For some reason I don't carry my babies close to my body, they like to LEAN waaaaayyyyyy out over my pubic bone which is great unless you want to walk or sit or anything along those lines.  Pendulous.  So I need to start wearing my belly bra. The other belly bands are great if you have a 'normal' belly, but since mine will literally fold those bands in 1/2 they don't really do me a whole lot of good.    She also mentioned the dreaded words - Bed Rest.   If it gets to bad it is something we will have to think about as I get further along.  For now, just rest while I can (I have to rest after nearly everything I do, so this shouldn't be too big of a problem!).

This last week I have been spoiled by some wonderful women in my life who have taken time out of their busy schedule and contributed to making my house just a bit cleaner.  I had three special 'cleaning fairies' that came and worked on my house!   Soooo nice to come home from our little camp trip to have my floors mopped & vacuumed, my laundry caught up and my bathrooms cleaned up.  

Here is to starting to feel 'normal' again - where I can be my happy, joyful self and start driving people nuts again!!!  :)

Life is so precious

We all know this.  But last week I had a reality check - my son was injured in an accident on the farm while he was working with his g'pa.  That accident could have very easily been fatal and that scares the daylights out of me!  Unless you know about farm equipment it won't make much sense, but he had been helping with the loading of the hay bales and a giant metal plate that lifts up 10 hay bales at once drop on him, knocking him down and pinning his head while his body was being dragged.   G'pa was very quick to react and was thinking 3 steps ahead.  He knew what each step was that he needed to take.  I have been thanking God and a few special guardian angels for watching over my son, Tilor and his g'pa that day. 

Walking into the hospital ER armed only with the information I had received {Tilor was pinched in some farm equipment and is on his way to the ER} was terrifying.  I remained calm and I didn't cry - almost; but I held it together.  I called my husband and told him what I knew and that I was on my way to the ER.  I also called my mom who drove out to meet us and text my wonderful friend, Tanya.  Tanya immediately called our church and Tilor was put on the prayer chain - the youth pastor also arrived about 10 minutes after I did at the hospital.   The blood on his face was from a cut in his cheek that required 9 stitches, but he also had scratches, bruising and swelling on the other side of his head where the metal plate had actually knocked him down.   Not too bad for having his head pinned down by 1,000lbs of weight, huh?

Life is precious.  I have been having such a hard time accepting and getting excited about being pregnant, but if I had lost my son last Monday my world would have been destroyed.  I would have been destroyed.  This precious baby that I am carrying has sure been giving me a lot of perspective.  Life can be taken from us in an instant.  Hug your children just a little tighter, tell someone you love how much you appreciate them or just take a minute to thank God for those people who surround you with their love! 
I am taking the time to rub my belly.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Been a bit stressed

This week and been a stressful one to say it nicely.  My oldest son had a very close call in a farming accident this week along with some other issues going on in the world around me.......  

I need a break.  So, my family and I are taking off and going camping!   Actually the trip has been planned since January and we REALLY need it right now.  We need time to relax together and laugh together and celebrate life together!

I will be gone a few days and I return in time for my midwife appointment on Monday.  More details and updates to come.   For now, I just need an escape.

Friday, July 23, 2010

SMO Addict

Hello,  my name is Heather and I am an SMO addict.  There is an online support group for surrogate mothers (and parents) that I decided to become a part of when I started looking at becoming a surrogate mother again.   After I got pregnant I made the decision to still continue to be part of the community since I had 'been there, done that' and might be able to offer some words of advise.   

I think this might be a hang up for me.  I am still hearing the joy that the girls get when they are getting their BFP for their IP's.  I am weeping with then when a baby is lost (and it has been a hard month!).  I listen to the stories from IM's about their longing for a baby and having circumstances change that.

I feel guilty.  I feel connected, but then again not.  I have become friends with some of the women on the board and want to continue following their journeys but I think I need to step away from the 'support board' since I am not a surrogate.   It is also very taboo too announce that you are leaving *snort* so, I am not doing that.   :)   I'll just leave it here.

So for those of you that are 'blog stalkers' from SMO - I wish you the best and I will continue following your journey's on your blogs but I can't be a part of the day to day *drama*, fun and support on SMO.   I am having a hard time getting excited about my own pregnancy.  If I hadn't have gotten pregnant with our own I would probably be in the 2WW for my couple.  This breaks my heart......

My womb has been filled, now I need my heart to be filled......
                    maybe then I'll get my sparkle back.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

12 Weeks

Yesterday I hit the 12 week mark.   The 'safe' zone.  I should be able to let out a big sigh of relief in knowing that our baby will probably be carried to term and there won't be complications..... This is normally when skeptical parents begin announcing that they are expecting.  

Today is the first day in a very long time that I haven't thrown up while I have been at home - at least not yet.   I won't get too excited that I am over it.  I am more realistic than that!   I am hoping that it is my glimmer of hope that over the next few weeks I will be getting sick less and less often.    

I am not sure that my 'sparkle' is here yet.  I don't think so.  Is my physical sickness affecting my emotions?  Or is my emotions affecting me physically?  I wish I knew so I could start working on it........

In the mean time - here is a quick little summary of where we are at in baby development right now.   I also read in one of my baby books that the intestines are starting to migrate through the umbilical cord to the abdomen of the little Intruder.  What an amazing thing to help create a child;  guided by the hand of God.. 

You are 12 weeks pregnant. (fetal age 10 weeks)
  • The fetus is now about 2.5 inches (6cm) length and weighs about 0.7 ounce (20 g).
  • The feet are almost half an inch (1cm) long.
  • The fetus starts moving spontaneously.
  • The face is beginning to look like a baby's face.
  • The pancreas is functioning and producing insulin.
  • Fingernails and toenails appear.
  • The baby can suck his thumb, and get hiccups.
12 weeks From this week you may well be able to hear the baby's heart beat through a doppler monitor on your tummy. You will notice that the rate is up to 160 a minute, double that of a normal adult.

Your baby now has a chin and a nose and a facial profile. Vocal chords are complete, and the baby can and does sometimes cry silently. The brain is fully formed, and the baby can also feel pain. The fetus may even suck his thumb. The eyelids now cover the eyes, and will remain shut until the seventh month to protect the delicate optical nerve fibers. The hair is on the head and the fingers and toes have developed soft nails. The kidneys are developed and begin to secrete urine.

Your baby weighs between 0.5 and 0.7 ounce (14 to 20g), and crown-to-rump length is almost 2.5 inches (63mm). Your baby's size has almost doubled in the past 3 weeks.

Thursday, July 15, 2010


I felt flutters!!   I am soooo excited!   Around 4am this morning I was half asleep laying in bed and felt a little bump.  I was wide awake immediately to see if I could feel it again and sure enough - there was that wonderful, familiar bump, bump, bump.  I was awake long enough to feel it in a couple different places. 

Oh, how I *love* the comfort of feeling the baby move.  It makes the nausea and sickness totally worth it.

I know it is early and it might be awhile before I feel the little Intruder again and that is okay.  Eventually it will be something that is more and more regular.  I especially like that I get to feel the flutters for a few weeks before anyone else does.   That is a time that we get to start building our bond, our special play time.

I fell back asleep with a smile on my face!!    
11.2 weeks

Monday, July 12, 2010

Appointment updates

I had two appointments today and wanted to give a little update.....  but first I want to say sorry for being MIA for the last 2 weeks.   My morning sickness has been kicking my butt and I also went on another family vacation to Mt. St. Helens.

So I met with my midwife again today, only 2 weeks after my last appointment.  I questioned that today when I got there and she expressed that she was concerned about how I was doing emotionally with this pregnancy and didn't want to wait too long to check on me.   Ahhhh, feel the love?!?!  I do!

I assured her that I really was doing fine with the pregnancy but I still don't have my 'spark' about the pregnancy like I normally do.  She notices it and so do I..... but I just don't know what I can do differently at this point.  Emotionally it has been so hard to change gears and maybe I am not 100% there yet.  I would absolutely be devastated if something happened to this pregnancy though!

We did a quick couple tests - my iron is way down and my glucose was pretty high.  I can attribute the high glucose to my Lucky Charms I had before I ran out the door for my appointment.  Horrible choice for  my 2nd breakfast, I know but the only think that sounded 'ok' that I might be able to keep down.  My iron has dropped from a pre-pregnancy of 12.8 to a 10.   I am sure that is contributed to my lack of enthusiasm for red meat so far.  Normally I am a burger girl and those sound horrible to me.  Our freezer is full of elk meat his is super high in iron and protein but the thought just turns my stomach.  Although I have been sick I am still gaining weight so we aren't too concerned at this point, but I *really * need to start eating some red meat!

My other appointment today was for a follow up ultrasound to verify/check dates.  It is so surreal to have an ultrasound...... I haven't had one for my own children for 10 1/2 years!  My surro's had sooo many that it was nice to just trust my body to grow the baby and what ever happens, happens.   Since I didn't know exactly when I conceived with this baby I wanted a date.  I needed a dated.  :)  I found out today that according to the ultrasound I am 10 weeks and 1 day pregnant with an estimated due date of February 6th.   I know I should be happy that I have a date, but I am even more frustrated because the dates just don't make sense.  At all.   There is NO WAY that sperm lived 10+ days, it is impossible.   But whatever........  I am going to keep my guess date of February 1st.  Sounds like a good day to me. 

So - I would like to introduce you to:  "The Intruder"
I know that it doesn't seem like a very nice name, but my hubby came to me after work one evening and rubbed my belly and said "How's the little intruder doing?"   It is a term of endearment and until we come up with something else that will be the nickname.  Oh yeah, and I verified there is only ONE baby.    We were starting to wonder........

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Contractions are kind of like ketchup....

 Can we talk about ketchup for a little while?  It is pregnancy related in a weird sort of twisted way….

I had an appointment with my midwife yesterday and when I arrived she was just finishing up an appointment with a friend of mine.  She made a comment that her baby was probably going to be a big one since she was measuring 1-2 weeks further along and our MW made a comment about her thinking is that the larger babies come out easier because our uterus doesn’t have to work as hard squishing the baby out (although I am pretty sure she didn’t use the word squishing…).

So last night I was tossing and turning in bed thinking about this and I can related it best to a bottle of ketchup, so let me try.

When you have a full bottle of ketchup you have to turn it over give it a little wiggle and then squeeze and you will get a nice amount of ketchup before you need to let the air bubble rise to the top so you can continue squeezing.  Right?

Well when you have a bottle that is only ½ full or less you have to wiggle and shake and tap that ketchup down and SQUEEZE.   The air bubble doesn’t rise as easily and then you have to tap, tap again and SQUEEZE.   You following me?

So if you are pregnant and delivering a larger baby (let’s say 8lbs +) your uterus doesn’t have to contract in as far to ‘grab hold’ of that baby and squeeze that baby out.   Now if you have a smaller baby your uterus has to contract more each time, then let up then contract down further again making it work more and more.

Maybe that is why some women with smaller babies have longer labors?  I don’t know, but I am curious and I think I might start paying attention to this a little more.   My kids (including surro’s) have all been between 8lbs5oz and 10lbs4oz.  My labors have been (start to finish) 45minutes to 4 hours long.   Correlation? 
Does my theory make sense to you?   Can you follow it?   ….next time you are fighting with that bottle of ketchup you’ll probably chuckle to yourself imagining that your uterus is contacting to get that last bit out!!

 By the way, I *love* ketchup.   I don't like mayo, mustard, BBQ sauce or things like that; add ketchup to my sandwich any day!   Thanksgiving?  Please pass the ketchup for my turkey.