Behind the scenes

 Behind the scenes Sophie, Pépe and I have been working on a few important details of our journey.   I got our first draft of our contract on Friday and I went over it many times this past weekend crossing, questioning, adding and deleting.   Since I have been down this road before and I have an idea of what needs to be done and what I am looking for.   Some things are pretty basic/standard others are a little more unique to our situation.

So many of the things that go into a contract are 'just in case'.  For example you never expect to have a hysterectomy but if I did it is written into my contract.   How far from home I am allowed to travel after 24 weeks - it was set at 50 miles, which if you know where I live is a little ridiculous!  When you print off the document it is a little daunting how long and detailed it is....

 We all want to make sure that we are covered.  The parents don't want to be financially drained but they want to make sure that all the basis are covered.  I don't think that financially my family should be negatively affected  and I don't want to inadvertently have a breach of contract so we are all just covering our bases.

I have talked to S&P about all the modifications that I am looking at making so that we keep an open dialog between all parties.  Then I talk to my lawyer, he changes it and then sends it off again.

Now for the EXCITING part!!!   I mentioned earlier that we were on the same page regarding not vaccinating but it has gone one step further........ they would like me to use a midwife for delivery and have given their blessing to have a homebirth!!!!   I am so, so excited!

I am excited for me because while I had geared myself up for having another hospital birth I *loved* giving birth at home.  I am also excited for S&P because I really believe that by having a homebirth they will be able to be much more involved in the birth and afterbirth then they would be allowed to in a hospital.   I can picture Sophie hopping into the tub with me to help support me and maybe catch their baby while Pépe is anxiously awaiting to announce the sex and cut the cord.   Since the baby isn't whisked away to be weighted and measured they will get those first precious brand new minutes/hours with Little Roo.  When it is time for the newborn exam they will be right there helping measure and asking questions and observing.   I can't wait!   I want this to work.........

There are just a few things in our way.  I am *very* restricted on who I can use for a midwife.  I have to use a CNM (certified nurse midwife) that is approved by my insurance.   It gets even more restrictive when we started looking for one that would deliver at home.... very restrictive.  So far we have only found one.  When I called her office I was told based on my previous delivery times (45 minutes to 4 hours) that I was too far away.  We have been going around and around about how we can make this happen.   I have 2 options left at this point before resorting back to a hospital birth.   We are currently waiting for a meeting on Thursday at the midwives' office to see if they would be willing to be my primary care providers and then use my previous midwife (who isn't covered by insurance or I would be using her as my primary!) as my emergency backup until the primary midwives arrive for delivery.  They have never had someone 'help' them so this would be all new, then throw in a surrogacy and it is all out of their 'zone'.... I just have to pray that everything will work out as it is supposed to.   I have gotten so much more out of this surrogacy already than I ever thought!!  I appreciate S&P being so open to a more 'natural' pregnancy and birth even if the getting pregnant part isn't so natural. 
My last resort option would be to use the CNM & my midwife both and then just know that the CNM won't come to catch.  I would just have to pay my previous midwife out of pocket.   Time will tell!
 

I am glad that behind the scenes things are going well.

Just perfect

I know that from the outside it doesn't seem like there is much going on with my journey right now, which is only partially true.   From the outside, not much is happening.  On the inside Sophie, Pépe and I are emailing back and forth at least once a day and sharing pictures of our home, sharing stories and just all around getting to know each other.   I am so happy with where things are at right now.


On a technical aspect (TMI alert!) I just started AF this past Friday which is wonderful!  That means I will be due again on May 28th and from there I start my meds in preparation for a mid June transfer.  My case manager told the nurse with Ringler's office (RE) to get my calendar going.   That is a wonderful step!!

Sophie & Pépe have the first draft of the contract with them now and they are adding a few modifications to it, their lawyers will review it, send it to my lawyer for review and then if it is okay I will get it.   I already know that I have a couple modifications for 'just in case' situations that I want to address.  Then the paperwork will make the return trip:  Me -> my lawyer -> their lawyer -> back to the parents.   We are keeping modifications and expectations in open dialog.   The have 2 requests for me - not to have any dental work (such as fillings) that will put any toxins (ie - mercury) into my body and also not to have any vaccines that contain the preservative Thimerosal such as the flu vaccine.  Perfect!

The flu vaccine and H1N1 I am sure will be pushed on by the OB's me since I will be pregnant, but with all the media hype on both sides of the issue I know what my choice is for me personally, but if I was pregnant with my own child it would be a bit more of a decision.  Being that I will be pregnant with someone else's child would have made the choice much more difficult for me.  I am glad it is a decision I don't have to make!   :)   S&P have done their research on their two requests and I am glad to accommodate their requests.  Along with them doing their research, their previous surrogate miscarried shortly after having the H1N1 vaccine (they were in their 2nd trimester).   This was obviously a devastating outcome for all involved.

If you know me personally you know that my younger two children are being raised vaccine free.  I know it isn't for everyone, but it is what works best for MY family.  Everyone has to do what works for them - at this point our two families are on the same page with choices for our pregnancy.

That is perfect.  Just perfect.