For tonight though... it is about my husband. Tomorrow I take him in to repair 2 small hernias he has and after much talking we decided that the best thing to do would be to undergo a vasectomy while he is 'under'.
This is what we want. We have talked about it over and over, it just never got done before. Once I found out I was pregnant he said "guess I should go have that vasectomy done". Better late than never I guess......
But then tonight it kind of hit me. Yes, I am a little hormonal as it is, but I am really struggling with this right now. This is permanent. This is real. This means we are Done. Done, done. That is really hard.
As I drove my kids to my friends house for the evening (we leave pretty early in the morning) I told my hubby I was sad. And then the stupid tears started.......... Totally didn't expect that. But I verbalized it. I said it out loud. That made it real. No more kids for us after this little intruder. {and the tears start again..... dang it!}
Of course we are all haveing fun joking and playing about it - drawing faces down there, making notes, putting X's and saying "do not remove" things like that...... the surgery is about getting the small hernias fixed, but this "small, second surgery" is sure doing a number on my emotions.
Now yes, people think we are NUTS (no pun intended!) for planning the surgery this close to my due date, but really, if the baby arrives 'on time' - somewhere around February 1st then that will give my husband a week to recuperate before taking over the primary care taker roll for me. He already has plans to be home for 2 weeks after the baby arrives, so this will give him a total of 3 weeks to rest and heal. That is way more than he would ever do for either surgery separate or together. So, we are saying a prayer that I can make it over the hill into 'the city', have the surgeries and make it home tomorrow afternoon. One more week before baby arrives would be nice......
sorry for the horrible sentence structure, run on sentences and fragments.
Praying for you! That you'll have a safe trip, surgery goes well, recovery's a breeze and your little blessing keeps cooking for a while! And that somehow you'll find peace in the finality of this.
ReplyDeleteOh Heather, I get it...
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard knowing we're done too.
I will pray for a successful surgery with no complications and a smooth recovery, safe trip over the hill both ways, and no baby arrival for at least a few more days.
<3
I have soo been there. It was hard for me. You know, I told you all of it. I can say for us, it was best. Even if my heart hurts a tiny bit now and then. You will feel better about it too, I am sure. Praying.Tanya
ReplyDelete