"Due Date" Tomorrow!!

Wow, I can't even believe it...... tomorrow is my 'guess date'!!!

I have so many thoughts and so many directions to go.......

The other night I took a nice long bath and spent most of the time reminiscing about where I was emotionally just 36 weeks ago.   How much I have been stretched both physically and emotionally and spiritually.  I have grown so much........  
I still think about Sophie & Pepe often and I pray that they have gotten their perfect match and even better would be if they are awaiting their own little bundle of joy.  I have not forgotten.  I will never forget. 

Withing the next couple days we will be welcoming our Little Intruder into our home and into our lives.   We will love completely and fully without any hesitation!!  This journey did not end as it was planned by me  -  but I think we have all learned and grown.

When I got out of the bath the other night my husband asked me "are you ready to have that baby yet?".   My answer took him by surprise, but I guess that is the difference between a man and a woman.   I answered "physically I am ready to be done.... emotionally, I still need some time."  He doesn't understand that emotionally I need to close this chapter and it has to be done on my terms, not on anyone else's.  I need to be okay with being done being pregnant..... he said - "why does it matter, the baby will still be here".   I guess I view pregnancy, labor and childbirth different then a lot of people.  I enjoy being pregnant.   Sure, I have been having some major discomfort, but that doesn't mean that I don't love it.   I lay awake at night just feeling all the little rolls, bumps and pokes.   I love to lift my shirt up and watch the baby move.  I love when my daughter comes up below my belly to give her baby a hug and a kiss.   Those are things that won't happen once I am no longer pregnant.   This baby also needs NO care right now - I don't have to feed it.  I don't' have to change diapers on him/her.  I don't have to soothe it to sleep.  I don't have to tell the kids "NO!".  I don't have to be 'grounded' to my house for 2 weeks yet........... I am look forward to most of those things, but I am not sure if I am ready yet!!!

One of the things holding me back from 'relaxing' enough to have the baby right now is the slow recovery my husband is having from his surgeries.   His hernia surgery is taking a bit more recovery than he thought it would take.  He is still feeling quite a bit of pain and is slow moving around.   I want him to be able to help and feel good when this baby comes.  I don't want him to be in pain while he is trying to be my main support person.

One nice thing about my husband's surgery - he has been home.  It has been nice to have had some down time as a family.   We aren't doing any sports right now (very intentional move) so the evenings have just been us at home.   Ahhhh!!   *smile*


So, we'll see.  I am not sure when the Little One will make their debut, I am still expecting some sort of surprise.......   My body has been ready.   It is large, swollen and doing what it needs to do to bring this baby into the world.  Our bedroom has been transformed into a little medical corner with all the things we need for the birth.  My video camera is charged up and ready to film the birth.   My blessingway has been done and we have lots of wonderful family and friends waiting in the wings......  
My children are anxiously awaiting their new sibling.   We all watched my daughter's birth video yesterday and none of my children were scared.  I showed them that I don't yell and scream.   I am calm but might make funny noises.   We talked about the baby being born in the water and when the placenta comes out that the water might get some blood in it.  Zeyon has even decided that he will sit on our bed and wait for the baby (before he was just going to play outside).   Sheridan has her seat picked out along side the tub and Tilor.... I'm not sure what his plans are.  I think he would be just fine watching, but I won't force him to do anything.  I'll let him take the lead.  When Mark and I crawled into bed last night and he says "let's talk about spellings".... so that was a fun conversation.  We both agreed on first and middle names for the boy, but the girl we both visualized differently.   Finally he said "well, at least I know".   I think that means I win........... *wink*  We'll find out!

Guess it is up to me to release this baby. 
                                I'll try to at least post a quick note about our baby's arrival.  Details would follow at another time.    I am excited!!  I really am!   Come out and play baby!!   I can't believe it is time!!!!!!