Along with pages and pages of very personal questions regarding our medical backgrounds, our financial background, our criminal background, our psychological background etc - we are supposed to introduce our family to potential IP's in a way that would make them interested in working me us, me specifically.
The agency screens the IP's and the GS (me!) for thing such as how many children we would be willing to carry, what type of family do we want to work with, views on selective reduction, how much contact do we want on and on and on......... once they have narrowed it down the surrogate is given a couple profiles (or one if they feel it would be a great match) to look at. If after looking through and reviewing their information I want to move forward they will then forward my information to the IP's. If they agree to a match then we have a face to face get to know ya meeting in LA and then we move forward. If either of us decides that we don't feel comfortable and any point *up to signing contracts* then we can request a new profile to look at.
One part of my profile this is a letter - I am attaching the 'letter' part of a hardbound book that I put together along with lots and lots of pictures of our family doing our normal everyday things.
Here is that letter:
As a parent we are often defined by our children. I no longer have my own identity. ….if I do, it is somewhere at the bottom of the laundry basket. When I go to the grocery store, holiday bazaars, or church I am labeled as “Tilor’s mom” or “Zeyon’s mom” or “Sheridan’s mom.” If I stop by my husbands work I am “Mark’s wife.” Am I bothered by this? Should I be? Absolutely not!
I am honored to be the wife of a loving, dedicated, hard-working man who has enabled me to live out my dream of being a stay at home mom. Since I was a young girl my answer to “What do you want to be when you grow up?” has always been “a mom.”
I have been blessed - giving birth to and raising three happy, healthy children. My dream has been fulfilled!
Since my pregnancies and births are ‘easy’ I want to return the gift given to me. I want to help another mom and dad to become a family. For others, getting and/or staying pregnant isn’t always easy or possible. I know I am not the only one with a dream of becoming a mother. My husband was a ‘late in life dad’ and wasn’t sure he would ever have children – now he can’t imagine his life without them.
It isn’t always mommies and daddies who make families – it is love that creates them.
Hi! My name is Heather and I would be honored if you wanted to give me another label – the label of ‘our surrogate’.
I am not a stranger to surrogacy – along with my own three children I was able to help a couple add two little boys to complete their family. Now that my husband and I have decided our family is complete I have made a very thoughtful choice to help another family grow by adding children. This isn’t just a baby for you. There are probably aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and lots of friends waiting for a bundle of joy too!
My surro-babies that I gave birth to are now 8 & 6 years old. My children are 10, 5 and 2. I had a baby at 21, 23, 25, 27 & 29. My goal had always been to be done having babies by 30 and I had made it… then I realized that 30 really isn’t that old at all!
When my husband Mark and I first started seeing each other I tried to convince him that he didn’t want to date me… I was going to be getting pregnant (with my 2nd surro-baby) in 3 weeks. He told me that it wasn’t scaring him away. So, our first year of dating I was pregnant and we had a *great* time playing around teasing everyone about his not being ‘our baby.’ Mark told the skeptics: How many guys get a trial run at their girlfriends being pregnant? Wasn’t that the truth!
He supported my decision to be a surrogate because he saw how happy it made me. He saw the incredible bond I had with my surro-family – one that is still very strong today!
I had a 3 ½ year old little boy from my first marriage when Mark and I began dating; 14 months after giving birth to my 2nd surro-baby, Ethan, we welcomed our own little boy Zeyon. Mark and I have a 17 year age difference between us, and he has very traditional ideas and values. When Zeyon was 6 months old I quit working to stay home and be a full time mom. Shortly after, he proposed and we were married in October of 2005. Ok – so we did that part a little backwards.
Ever since I was in high school I said I wanted to have 4 boys – between my 2 boys and my 2 surrogate boys it happened! So when I got pregnant with my 3rd child we didn’t know what to expect. Our family was complete with a little girl born in October 2007.
I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Yes it rains a lot but that is why everything is so green. So clean. So breathtaking. Maybe you have heard of or even tasted Tillamook Cheese. The cows outnumber the people and we get frustrated if we get stopped by 2 or 3 stoplights. The only time there is a traffic jam is if you get stuck behind a tractor. It is a small town; where everybody knows your name. When I graduated high school 15 miles north of here I swore to never come back – there was NOTHING to do….. Yet, I returned as I realized it is a wonderful place to raise a family.
Our home is on 19 ½ acres overlooking the Tillamook valley in Tillamook, Oregon. We frequently have wildlife around our home including coyotes, deer, elk, bobcats, bear, raccoons and so much more. Although we live in a farming community most of our acreage is timber.
My mom, Michelle and my step-dad, Tom live about 10 miles away from us. My grandpa lives even closer. My in-laws might call us after 10pm if they can see we still have our lights on. My dad, Rick and step-mom, LeAnne and my brother, Jason all live in the Portland area. I have 7 brother & sister in-laws that also live within a couple miles and another 4 that live ‘in the city.’ Family is obviously important to us.
One of our favorite ways to spend time as a family is to go camping. Until this past summer we have always tent camped. Unfortunately because we do live in Oregon and it does rain a lot we couldn’t go camping as often as we wanted. So we finally caved and bought a used 25’ trailer. Yeah!!
Movie nights, playing games, taking a bike ride or a drive are a few other ways we enjoy spending quality time together. Since Tilor is older now we also spend a lot of time at sporting events. Fishing and hunting are also fun things to do when daddy is off work.
I know there is much more to me that this, but it is a short summary of me and my family. As we continue on our journey I am sure we will all learn much more!
Just for fun I’ll leave you with this:
I love….
I love laughing ‘til I cry, hot bubble baths, kissing babies, reading a book I can’t put down, ‘skinny’ jeans, cribbage, sunsets at the beach, comfy sweatshirts, creamy peanut butter, a man that will hold my face to kiss me, Tillamook cheese, walks with my family, sunrises from my deck, watching deer play tag, carving pumpkins, Dr. Pepper, smiling, brown eyes, my teddy bear, inside jokes, Google, butterfingers, skim milk, ‘my shows’, late nights talking, funky socks, family dinners, wet wipes, living in Oregon, smoked salmon, sitting in front of the fire, dancing in the rain, hugs, belly rubs, being sarcastic, tattoos, massages, date nights with friends, nursing my babies, ketchup, single tall decaf 8 pump vanilla breve lattes, long hair, clean floors, camping, Fuzzi Bunz, Target, vanilla ice cream, being a stay at home mom, rootbeer floats, getting flowers, simple jewelry, facebook, getting a good deal, MOPS, church, being forgiven, BUNCO, opening my stocking at Christmas, toilet paper to go over the roll, staying at hotels, photos, the color orange, traditions, the Vikings, kind of green bananas, watching my children play together, sunshine, listening to my family sing together at the dinner table, shopping for Christmas presents, raspberry jam, Readers Digest, long hot showers, freckles, open minded people, Trinity, baby kicks, hearing “i wuff you’, cheese cake, my hard working husband - Mark, my reliable son - Tilor, my sensitive son – Zeyon, my daring daughter – Sheridan, being ‘kind of’ granola, giving blood, French fries, my parents, family get-togethers, power outages, ponytails, smell of a campfire, my Poppa, BBQ’s, wind storms, rats, squirrels, oldies music, comfy PJs, best friends, romeos, Converse, our house and property, sleep, wishing on a star, baseball, being a surrogate, being a mother, being a wife, making a difference, being ME!
