Baby Steps

I have spent a better part of this weekend tossing and turning over working with an international couple.   I suppose the part that bothers me the most is that the family would be SO FAR AWAY.   If I had a woman carrying *my* child I would want to be as close as possible.   However, one thing in my profile I asked for was trust.  I need the family to trust me.  I know it is hard to trust someone before you love someone, but this is a case where I need there to be trust.

The profile I received of the Germany family wants to be involved.  They want to be at the transfer.  They want to be at all the important appointments.  They want to be at the birth.   This is exactly what I am looking for.  I don't expect someone to come to every single appointment - my first surro family wasn't able to make it to every appointment either.  So why NOT an international family?

It would be a wonderful learning opportunity for my children, and for Mark and I as well.   We get the opportunity to learn about a new culture.  A different country.  How exciting!

So I emailed my agency this morning to tell them if I am limited to working with an international couple in order to help a heterosexual couple then my next priority would be a close relationship.  Now I am not looking to be invited to Thanksgiving dinner every year, but we are going through a deeply emotional, high stress, very personal journey.  We are helping to create a family - I want to be treated like a family member (2nd cousin twice removed is FINE!).  I just don't want to be treated like a rented uterus.  I am more than that.   {I was forwarded a profile that gave me the impression this is what they were looking for - that isn't what I am looking for!} 

So what is the next step?   My profile is being sent to Germany!   The German family (I'll be excited when I can use names/initials and not just general references - permission pending of course) will review MY profile and then they will decide if they want to move forward with meeting me and Mark.   They don't have to accept me.  If they don't feel like we would be a good fit, then I would rather them pass me on by than let me get emotionally and physically invested in working with them.

..... we also still need to get our screenings done.....

Baby steps.  Hurry up and wait.   One step at a time.